dinner with my past.

I got your nicely wrapped parcel in the mail,

Your memory is ever so vivid.

The clips of moments I would choose to forget,

The sound of voices that randomly play in my head,

The acts of shame and betrayal, I earnestly want to forget.

You remembered every bit

And you sent them in the parcel with an invitation.

 

My life was going pretty well, you know,

I hadn’t shed a tear in so long,

My eyes were finally learning how to smile,

I was starting to really forget.

It didn’t hurt as much anymore.

And everything, every pain was numb.

 

I agreed to have dinner with you,

Because I have something to say,

‘i refuse to let you control me.

I refuse to be bitter and angry at people

And about things that happened long ago,

I refuse to beat myself up over mistakes I made,

And people I hurt. I forgive myself.’

 

I have the present to live in and

The future to look forward to.

If I’m ever confronted with bad memories ,

I will only look at them and see how far I’ve come.

They will only be a reflection of how much stronger and wiser I am.

Next time you send me a parcel,

Attach a note saying “you’ve come a long way”.

 

“I hope you enjoyed dinner” I said.

I asked  the waiter for my bill , paid it off,

grabbed my purse and walked away never looking back.

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6 thoughts on “dinner with my past.

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