Growing Up.

I feel like with growing up, you grow into a lot of questions. You get to a point when you’re not so sure anymore. A point where you don’t quite know what to do, where you’re headed or what to feel. It’s like you’re at the middle of a cross road and instead of moving forward or backward, you decided to make your bed and stay there…in the middle.

But your mind won’t stop wandering and wondering. Your mind will embark on a journey. Travel back in time to see where you have been and even to the future to see where you could be. Your mind will work with your brain and your heart to set you on the right path.

You won’t be In the middle for too long because the clock will still be ticking. When the time is right, you will pack your bags and move in the direction that calls out to you the loudest. Don’t worry. I promise you’ll find your way and every step you’ve ever taken will all add up.

So don’t drown out the questions. Don’t stop your mind from asking, “is this right for me?” and walk away from anything that does not look like you. Walk away from anything you don’t deserve and do not look back.

Lines Out of My Diary and God’s love.

*wipes tears* I am lying here totally blown away by the love of God and his attention to detail. In the last couple of days God has shown me that he knows the littlest things about me and that he is actively involved in my life.  here’s the story;

Saturday, JUNE 23.
I didn’t have such a good week but I was about to have lunch with my friend so I was pretty pumped. Lunch went well and I ended up talking about what has been on my mind and all. She gave good advice as usual. Then it was time to open our fortune cookies ( I love fortune cookies). I opened mine and it said “rely on long-time friends to give you some great advice”. Co-incidence? Nope, God-incidence. God found a way to talk to me and give me the direction I needed.

Sunday, JUNE 24.
One of the low self-esteem days. I woke up not feeling too good about myself and life.  i was disappointed in myself because I did something I wasn’t very proud of. I got to church in time for worship, I wasn’t really in the mood to worship, but I sang along anyway. The last song was “you’re beautiful, beautiful”, it was just saying how beautiful God is.

Midway into the second round of the song, the worship leader said (these are not his exact words but) “there’s someone here, who is disappointed in himself/herself for a mistake they made, you feel God is upset with you and you don’t deserve his love, God wants you to know that he loves you and you are beautiful.” He continued, “I want everyone to sit down, and listen to this song and imagine God singing it to you. God wants me to sing this to you”. And he sang “you’re beautiful, beautiful” over and over again, till I could feel the love of God. I told myself, “never forget this moment, when the days get tough remember this.” And I soaked it all in.

( ps: I don’t remember the name of the song, and the only parts I remember are “you’re beautiful, beautiful”)

Tuesday, JUNE 27.
I pray every day but on this day, I just didn’t feel like it. I didn’t feel God wanted to hear from me either, so I just did other things. Later in the day, I just went to my email and I felt led to read my devotional for the day (I use Girlfriends in God), and the bible passage for the day was Songs of Solomon 2:14

I was absolutely blown away and I was blushing like crazy. OMG, the maker of the heavens and the earth thinks my voice is sweet and my face is lovely. What more could a girl ask for? :’). It totally warmed my heart and I said, “Good one God.” I couldn’t stop smiling. I had a really Good conversation with God that day. I felt really loved.

Tuesday, JULY 3.
You know how you ask God for something and he doesn’t give it to you? It has happened to me a lot but I trust his decisions so I accept it. There was something I really wanted today and I didn’t want to ask God because I didn’t want to ask Him and then he won’t do it. I didn’t want to be disappointed. Anyways, the awesome thing is he did it for me. I didn’t even need to ask him. He read my mind and he made it happen. I am so happy right now, you have no idea.

I was about to write this post about how awesome God is and the song “your love never fails by Chris Quilala and Jesus culture” popped up on my YouTube feed and I gave it a listen. 

  This song says exactly how I feel and God has reminded me that His love never fails. i do not believe in co-incidences, i believe in God-incidence. Everything is ordained by God. everything and everyone you meet is all a part of God’s grand plan to take you to where you are meant to be. 🙂

Do you feel God knows nothing about your life? Do you feel he doesn’t care or he doesn’t know where you’re at? Are you lonely and afraid? You don’t have to be. Jesus loves you too much, way too much and he wants to hear from you. He knows all the little details of your life. (read psalm 139) . You haven’t prayed in a while? That’s okay, you can pray now. I just want you to feel the very amazing love of God. It’s the best thing ever. it is real and tangible. It is just amazing knowing that someone is always looking out for me. Nothing can separate you or me from the love of God. Nothing!

God bless !!!

For Her.

hands.I love you, I love you, I love you,
My heart sings these words
Whenever I think of you.

Have you ever looked perfection in the eye?Cos I have.
You are perfect in every way; every single way.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
Therefore every eye can decide to see beauty or not,
But I am certain without a doubt, that every eye
Privileged to behold you even for a short time,
Is utterly mesmerized by the extraordinary beauty you possess.
You are beautiful, so very beautiful.

I love the way you love me,
Deep, royal, sensational kind of love.
Your love is like the wind, it blows my worries away,
Like a sheet of paper on an empty street.
Your voice is my alarm, it rings when I’m in the wrong.
It keeps me in check, it makes me strong.

Have I told you what my heart does apart from sing I love you?
It swells. It swells like a balloon getting pumped.
Like a fetus, my love for you grows.
And my eyes cry for no particular reason,
Maybe I’m blown away by the fact that I call you mom.

You’re my princess, my queen, my world.
Life has cut you pieces of cake form pain and heartache,
But I’ll bake you one with love and laughter,
I’ll serve you happiness in a jug, so you can drink all you want,
Then I’ll make you a bed of roses so you can lay in beautiful peace.

I would write you a song, but someone would sing it out of tune,
I would bring you the moon, but I can’t seem to get it out of the sky,
There are so many things I would do for you if I could,
But I’m only human, so ill love you the best way I know how.

I could go on and on and on,
But no words would be enough,
To sing the songs my heart has made for you,
You are my star, my world, my everything,
That is all i have been trying to say.

happy birthday Mom. thank you for believing in me. i love you forever!!!