2 places, 1 night and stars.

Tonight i am transported through continents by the absence of power.
Tonight i am back in the room where i spent my teenage years.

i would be lying in total darkness
except for the moon streaming its light through my window,
the wind has stopped by a couple of times and the fireflies too.
i lay horizontally across my bed, staring at the stars.
which one shines the brightest? which one’s afraid to shine?
which one’s isolated? which one wants to run away?

But i’m sure the stars aren’t thinking those,
i mean, they are stars and everyone wants to be like them.
Everyone wants to shine, everyone wants to be seen.
We are all stars in some way, i am most certain.

it is a thing of beauty to see the stars shine at night,
Regardless of what transpired in the day,
they come out and take their places in the sky and they shine.
They shine even if we aren’t looking; they shine because it is their duty to.

You and I, like stars are made to shine.
We are created to emanate the beauty of the creator.
So shine my darling;
Like the stars shine for you, be sure to shine for others.

9 thoughts on “2 places, 1 night and stars.

  1. The first two lines offers the promise of an exciting journey which is reinforced by the fact that “the wind has stopped by a couple of times and the fireflies too”

    But just when we were raring to go, even the speaker who took us back to the room of teenage years seems distracted from the piece. From there the flow is jumbled and the poem becomes more prosaic as lines roll into more lines.

    At a point it begs the question where the poem ended and where the diary entry began.

    This poem didn’t give me the hit nor the magic i came looking for.

    1. i love your critique.Basically This poem discusses how being in two different places, under the same circumstances can evoke the same thoughts or emotions. i spent a significant part of my nights, watching the stars and wondering these things. being in the same circumstance ( although in a different place), and having the same thoughts about stars run through my mind was a moment i had to find beauty in and i did, hence the poem.

      The poem is not about “my room of teenage years”. it is about the thought and feelings i had (still have) being there at night and watching the stars and the lesson i learned from it. Nonetheless, i understand where you’re coming from.

      Perhaps you will find the magic you came for in my future poems. thank you for reading and for critiquing. šŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s